Being Grounded: in Scripture

Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding. Search for them as you would for silver; seek them like hidden treasures. Then you will understand what it means to fear the Lord, and you will gain knowledge of God. Proverbs 2:3-5

The healthy love and compassion of Jesus Christ always amazes me! In so many of our encounters with the hurts of other human beings, it’s easy to begin to think in terms of manipulation instead of healthy Christ-like love. We often try to help someone quickly process their grief, but the depth of their hurt or the uniqueness of their personality has its own timetable. We hastily want to cheer a child or discouraged friend. All the while, however, we may be acting less out of genuine Christ-like compassion and more out of our need to stand back from the discomfort when we feel when we draw close to someone who is really struggling. This attitude may cause those we are trying to help put up defenses and actually drive away those who are trying to help.

We may fall into the illusion that we own people, that we can use them, that we have a right to manage their feelings. By offering premature advice on how to cope, by prodding with our faith rather than creating an atmosphere of trust and growth, we say much about our need for easy closure. When we barge in with such consolation, we may sometimes be making hurting souls into objects of projects.

In fact, a possessive approach to relationships creates many of our own disappointments; people rarely respond well to our efforts to manage their lives or orchestrate their response to their pains. We find relationships bending or even breaking under the weight of the expectations we place on them in our discomfort with another’s suffering. We can then end up even more alone―walled up within our disappointments or sadness.

When we treat people the way Jesus did, bridges are built and windows are opened; and we enjoy the relationship whether it is moving on our timetable or not. I am discovering that being grounded in the scripture, knowing that the Holy Spirit does the work and not me, gives me so much more patience, joy and discovery in my relationships with a variety of wonderful human beings.

For some reason, God has gifted our church for reaching out to a diversity of people to share the life-changing love of Christ. Imagine if we continue to grow in relating to everyone in our lives with the wisdom and gentle strength of Jesus? I relish every moment God gives me to live and grow in this holy endeavor.

Your friend for the rest of my life,

Pastor Tim White