“One is a whole number - that’s something we’re taught in math class,” said Pastor David Gerzsenye, who conducts Washington Cathedral’s Single Ministry with his wife Carol. But for many adults who aren’t in a romantic relationship - and especially those who are divorced - “there’s a negative connotation that I’m not half of a couple,” he said.
For the Redmond Reporter’s continuing, pre-Valentine’s Day series about “Looking for Love in Redmond,” we asked Gerzsenye what kind of people are drawn to the singles group at Washington Cathedral and what benefits are offered to them. “We tell everyone who walks through these doors, whether or not they’re looking for a romantic relationship, that we can give them three things - a place to belong, something to look forward to, and the chance to love or be loved by someone.” he explained. “We’re not a dating service. We don’t exist for the purpose of ‘hooking people up,’ but we host dinners, game nights, trips to museums, hiking and camping trips. We create a bunch of things to do as brothers and sisters… and sometimes romance happens naturally because people who’ve been hurting, and licking their wounds, get back up to a healthy frame of mind.” In his ministry, about 75% of participants are divorced and the other 25% have never been married. According to the group’s bylaws, participants are ages 29 and older, but the majority are 40-60 years old, he said.
For the Redmond Reporter’s continuing, pre-Valentine’s Day series about “Looking for Love in Redmond,” we asked Gerzsenye what kind of people are drawn to the singles group at Washington Cathedral and what benefits are offered to them. “We tell everyone who walks through these doors, whether or not they’re looking for a romantic relationship, that we can give them three things - a place to belong, something to look forward to, and the chance to love or be loved by someone.” he explained. “We’re not a dating service. We don’t exist for the purpose of ‘hooking people up,’ but we host dinners, game nights, trips to museums, hiking and camping trips. We create a bunch of things to do as brothers and sisters… and sometimes romance happens naturally because people who’ve been hurting, and licking their wounds, get back up to a healthy frame of mind.” In his ministry, about 75% of participants are divorced and the other 25% have never been married. According to the group’s bylaws, participants are ages 29 and older, but the majority are 40-60 years old, he said.
From personal experience, Gerzsenye commented, “Being single again feels very weird - they either stay at home alone or they date, date, date until they end up in their second or third marriages.” Now remarried and an ordained Christian minister, he is a former atheist who lived through divorce and serial dating himself, “because I couldn’t be alone - I felt I always had to be with someone.” The trouble with that mindset - and with dating and dumping one stranger after another - is that “it’s hard to see people’s true colors, to know whether they really share your interests and values, or are just putting on an act for you,” he said. That’s why the mission statement of Washington Cathedral’s singles group mentions “a family environment that is safe, caring, enthusiastic for all single men and women to enjoy fun, fellowship, praise and worship…” A one-on-one conversation between a man and a woman is going to be different than a conversation in which many people, who feel like “brothers and sisters” are getting to know each other, said Gerzsenye. “A brother or sister is going to call you on it, when you say something goofy or something that’s not coming from the real you.”
At the singles get-togethers, participants share meals and talk about “boundaries in dating, how to identify safe and unsafe people, sexuality, purpose in life, conflict resolution and communication. Often-times our role models for relationships were our folks and maybe they were not the best role models.” He added that he and his wife met through the divorce recovery workshop here and were “just friends” for a long time until he felt healthy enough, emotionally, to date her. “I’ve also married at least 18 couples who met and dated here,” he remarked.
Article By Mary Stevens Decker, Redmond ReporterAt the singles get-togethers, participants share meals and talk about “boundaries in dating, how to identify safe and unsafe people, sexuality, purpose in life, conflict resolution and communication. Often-times our role models for relationships were our folks and maybe they were not the best role models.” He added that he and his wife met through the divorce recovery workshop here and were “just friends” for a long time until he felt healthy enough, emotionally, to date her. “I’ve also married at least 18 couples who met and dated here,” he remarked.
(Reprinted with the permission of the Redmond Reporter)
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